“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” ― William Shakespeare. Although probably not as intense as Romeo and Juliet’s, most people will remember their own first love. What makes a first love so special?

Known as the greatest love story of all time, Romeo and Juliet is the story of passionate love between two adolescents. Although falling in love is always an intense experience, it appears to be even more intense for adolescents than for adults. Some people even keep longing for their first love and indicate that they would still want to get back together after many years.

Romantic love is associated with brain activation in reward-processing neural regions. Researchers showed people who were madly in love pictures of their beloved, and subsequently looked at which brain areas were activated during the viewing of these photographs. They found that, compared to looking at photographs of a friend, viewing photographs of your loved one elicits activation in reward-processing regions in the brain.

Even though love is special at all ages, there appears to be something extra about your first love. The first experience of passionate love can be overwhelming and quickly turn into the most important thing in a teenager’s life. In modern times this is more likely to take the form of endless texting, rather than nocturnal serenades under the balcony.

Why a first love is so special is subject to debate. Possibly adolescence is a critical period in which early romantic experiences shape future expectations and attachment styles. This idea is supported by the concept of the 'reminiscence bump'—a well-documented psychological phenomenon in which memories from adolescence are particularly vivid and enduring. The brain's reward system, driven by dopamine, reinforces the emotional intensity of first love, making it a lasting and formative experience. While this does not mean that first love imprints in a biological sense, as once thought, it could explain why these memories remain powerful and significant throughout life.

Another plausible explanation could be that the first time you fall in love you simply have never experienced anything like it before, and therefore the love feels so intense. When falling in love for the second or third time, these feelings are more familiar and may therefore be easier to regulate, resulting in a less overwhelming experience. The story of Romeo and Juliet may have had a whole different ending if they had met a couple of years later.

Disclaimer:
Portions of this blog post have been previously published on www.leidenpsychologyblog.nl. Some sections have been updated and expanded for this version.

Further reading:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jul/17/why-first-loves-shape-our-lives-for-ever-relationships-memories
Aron, A., Fisher, H., Mashek, D. J., Strong, G., Li, H., & Brown, L. L. (2005). Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 94(1), 327-337. DOI: 10.1152/jn.00838.2004
Fisher, H., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2006). Romantic love: A mammalian brain system for mate choice. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 361(1476), 2173-2186. DOI: 10.1098/rstb.2006.1938